My peers and I live in a space of duality, a space where the State creates a fabricated, abstract, and grotesque reality of its own, and pours money into supporting this fiction. It builds a rough illusion of happiness and prosperity reviving the heydays of Soviet propaganda, yet we can see the real structures under the glossy surface. I want to make this film to capture the portraits and events of Kazakh lives as they are - controversial, unsettled, and precarious. This story must be told through a documentary camera, with its ability to get very close to the players of major events. I am the right person to tell this story because, as the events in my country unfolded, I found myself at the heart of it all with a camera in my hands right from the start, driven by the urge to understand what was going on, and can guide the viewer through them. My friends, colleagues, and loved ones were directly involved in these events and became their active participants. Being a part of the community of activists and artists, I am able to film them at a deeper, more intimate level.